|Real Life Catch Up
||[22 May 2015|01:20am]
Hello, LJ. The two possible friends remaining. I can't fathom why it's so much easier to write about yourself to an imaginary anonymous audience. LJ was and is so much better than facebook. Internal over external. One without the other is weird.
My life has gone up and down and back round again. I'm quite sure I left off when I was still living with Jess.
( Ex-roommate dramaCollapse )
ANYWAY. SO. I did go back to art school. I applied to Langara College (a two year highly transferable diploma program) and I am currently finishing up. I'm done the main school bit and am just taking one course this summer for funsies. It's Coast Salish carving which is quite amazing and I feel like the class is such a breakthrough. I hope it becomes regular and expands!!!
I am transferring to Concordia (IN MONTREAL, OH MON DIEU!) to do the two more years to get my BFA. Coming from such a neg. place and so hard on myself I really fucking threw myself into school in order to prove what I could do to myself. And I fucking killed it. I won the ceramics award and scholarships and got nominated for an invitational national student competition and have a chance to exhibit in a group show in 2017. STUFF IS POSSIBLE. I hope I can keep up a bit of this momentum. At least to grow my CV enough to live off of grants in the future. Please. Please let me be an artist. Let me keep making.
I also really had a chance to deconstruct myself and acknowledge my strengths (a lot of what I used to consider my weaknesses). Cultural Theory class helped a lot. Ideas that I always nudged up against but was unable to define on my own are now clear which is extremely validating!! Questioning ideology! Subjectivity! Sexuality spectrum! Genderqueer is a thing! Nietzsche! Haha, basic college saves the day.
I used to think that there was something wrong with me that I never fit in anywhere, but now I know that that is like a super power. I can connect with anyone, be anything, but never lose myself. I'm always me. This means that I can bring people together. Which I kind of did, with all the art kids, people can be shy and stick to their groups but I kinda glued us all together. We had a really strong year! The grad show was epic. I love everyone. Particularly Rodin,and Aiden. Also Gorgeous George for being gorgeous. I feel like I'm not done hitting on him yet so we shall see if anything happens when he comes back from Costa Rica. I am hoping at least to maybe get a hook up while he is in Toronto and I'm in Montreal and I just go to visit and oh.
I kind of wonder if I just chase boys for status and story.
P.S. I am dating someone right now. That's never happened before. Northshore Ben asked me out and we hit it off. Damn compatible. I wish he didn't dress like a fascist but I feel I can't judge anyone elses fashion. He is kind of my dream nerd that I had kind of just given up on the hope of existing. And when I'm with him it's easy like I always thought it should be. But trust me I am quite anxious the rest of the time. It shook up my world view. I was pretty resigned to just being single for the rest of my life. I can't tell if I am too stand offish or too eager. Like that kind of madness.
( sex stuffCollapse )